In life, like any good woman, Miss Austen preferred to keep herself private. Damn you Americans–and Brits, too! Poor Miss Austen must be blushing in her grave to see her name, her words, and her blameless image bandied about on everything from pillows to what you Yanks call “band-aids.” The other day I started to make a list of commercial products that contain some trace of her. After a scant ten minutes I already had these items:

Sparkle t-shirt with quote: “It is a truth universally acknowledged that every single man in possession of a fortune must be in want of a wife.”

Jane Austen Regency Gift Tags

Jane Austen “inspired” pink, soy-scented candle

Austen necklace emblazoned with her portrait where–to be frank-she looks a bit mumsy

Jane Austen mini note cards, coffee mug, and hand-painted fridge magnet

Jane Austen tote bag which declares “There is no enjoyment like reading” in magenta lettering

Jane Austen tea towels

A stiff doll wearing a garish green frock, called a Jane Austen Action Figure

An advice book entitled “What Would Jane Do?” (Run for the hills, I should think)

Perhaps it never pays to dig, because what should I find in my research, but the horrible little item pictured below. Is it…can it be…a Mr. Darcy bobblehead???