Halloween Party Like It’s 1899

Dorian Gray may be the most macabre character in Jane Eyre Gets Real, the novel by Annabelle Troy. Therefore, he appreciates the value of a good #Halloween celebration. Victorians considered the holiday far more fitting for adults than for children; it didn’t really become a kid’s affair until the 1920’s. October 31st was a day when Victorians could let their hair down and have a romping good time. Known to be preoccupied with death–probably because their relatives, offspring and friends were often dying, at home and slowly–19th century folk viewed Halloween as an occasion when the tables could be turned … Continue reading Halloween Party Like It’s 1899

You Made Your #Flower Bed Now Lie In It!

Sherlock Holmes, a character in Jane Eyre Gets Real by Annabelle Troy, is no stranger to looking beneath the surface of things. He knows that underneath beauty’s facade there often lurks a dark soul; he was, for instance, onto flatmate #DorianGray from the second he met him. But that’s another story… Holmes, being a beekeeper, knows that a type of honeybee, the Diadasia diminuta,  sleeps inside an orange flower called Globe Mallow. They also like to make their bed in the California poppy and other buds which close up at night–how cozy! An adult bee will sleep about an hour per night … Continue reading You Made Your #Flower Bed Now Lie In It!

Masks: Not Just For #Superheroes Anymore!

Dorian Gray, the most enigmatic character in Annabelle Troy’s Jane Eyre Gets Real, knows all about #masks. Though #Covid-19 forces us to don disposable masks daily,  Dorian was imprinted with a permanent mask of beauty to hide his tormented soul and nefarious actions. More than anyone, he knows that all masks are not made of paper, recycled ocean plastic or cloth. For your distraction, Dorian presents his favorite masks: Venetian: Worn for centuries during Carnival, crafty Venetians also donned these elaborate creations for normal occasions, such as clandestine affairs and spying on their enemies. Because they really allow to you to … Continue reading Masks: Not Just For #Superheroes Anymore!

Look If You Dare: Haunted Portraits With Dorian Gray

The most diabolical character in Jane Eyre Gets Real, Dorian Gray knows he’s not the only one burdened by a haunted portrait. Below, just in time for #Halloween (that most vulgar holiday) he reveals his all-time favorites: Bernardo de Galzev, the Galvez Hotel, Texas: Photos snapped of this Spanish military officer will come out blurry unless you “ask” his permission first. Also, there have been reports of temperatures plummeting when you stand in front of him. Not to mention his eyes follow you around the room. Love Letters, also in Texas (replica hangs in Austin’s Driskill Hotel): Spooky little girl holds flowers … Continue reading Look If You Dare: Haunted Portraits With Dorian Gray

Dorian Gray on #HurricaneDorian

The raw, ruthless power of Hurricane Dorian and its effects on the Bahamas have sobered even Dorian Gray. Usually witty and careless, he can only soberly reflect upon the past and offer up a story about Britain’s worst storm. Occurring on November 26, 1703, the Great Storm ravaged the country for over a week, killing between 8,000 and 15,000 people, mostly at sea (the figures, though unreliable, were definitely significant). In Southern England, the original Eddystone Lighthouse was destroyed as were many buildings, churches, fleets of ships, and goods. It started as a tropical storm between Virginia and Florida then … Continue reading Dorian Gray on #HurricaneDorian

Unicorns: They Don’t Get No Respect

Dorian Gray, of Jane Eyre Gets Real fame, knows only too well what it’s like to be judged by appearances. It was his creator, Oscar Wilde, who coined the phrase “Life imitates Art”. This is true of how we view the unicorn. Once a noble animal, revered as an image of Christ in disguise, the unicorn was woven into tapestries which graced princely halls. This was during the Middle Ages and the Renaissance when people took themselves seriously. If they didn’t they risked going to hell. In our science-influenced times, mythical beings are given short shrift. It’s true that millennials have … Continue reading Unicorns: They Don’t Get No Respect

Ode to #Choupette, World’s Richest #Cat

There once was a cat named Choupette who never had to worry about debt. She modeled for cars and for beauty, Purina couldn’t license her booty; the designer who owned her thought victuals too vulgar no cat chow ads for the lovely Choupette.   Now she lives in a mansion with a bank account and a pension, silver fur brushed daily by maids, her cushion trimmed with golden braid. She never has to eat mice; they are not nearly as nice as caviar from a spoon made of jade.   Only one thing this cat lacks; mere wealth can’t bring … Continue reading Ode to #Choupette, World’s Richest #Cat

Very Victorian Painter Problems

Dorian Gray, a character in Jane Eyre Gets Real who is best known for his portrait, recently saw the film #Gaugin: Voyage to Tahiti. He found that it committed the transgression of being boring whilst being beautiful. However, it did inspire Dorian to the following insights on the problems of Victorian painters: 1. Can’t Find a Naked Woman Anywhere 2. Favorite Green Paint Contains Arsenic 3. Hard to Paint in the Fog 4. Cat Keeps Eating Your Models 5. Sudden Urge to Exhume Dead Wife (see infamous case of Dante Gabriel Rossetti,  the Pre-Raphaelite painter & poet; he dug up former wife/favorite model Lizzie … Continue reading Very Victorian Painter Problems

Beautiful Robots

  It’s no secret that robots designed to be a part of your home are on the rise, from Kuri the cute little mechanical critter that responds to sound and touch and has “moods” which it reflects through light, to the bot that will carry home your shopping. Dorian Gray, a character in Jane Eyre Gets Real, knows better than anyone how appearances can be deceiving. Though robots seem very modern, sophisticated automatons began to appear before the European public as early as the 1600s. In the reign of Louis XV, a mechanical bird was created called “Digesting Duck.” Made of … Continue reading Beautiful Robots

There Was A Crooked House

Just in time for #STPATRICK’SDAY, Dorian Gray, the character in Jane Eyre Gets Real who is most likely to imbibe, recounts the Tale of the Crooked House. The Crooked House Pub deep in the English countryside, in Himley west of Wolverhampton, once stand upright. But for the past 100 years, the structure has been dependably sinking into the ground, so that now it’s at an angle of 15 degrees, with the left side a good four feet lower than the right. Even if you go into the pub sober and stay that way throughout your visit, you’ll think you’re tipsy. All of … Continue reading There Was A Crooked House

Dorian Gray & the Leprechauns

In addition to being a character in Jane Eyre Gets Real, Dorian Gray was created in 1890 by Oscar Wilde. Of Irish ancestry (Wilde’s mother, Lady Jane, who wrote poetry under the pen name Speranza, supported the Irish national movement), Wilde identified with the Celtic country in that he saw himself as an outsider. He rebelled against conventional British morality; like his then-shocking homosexuality, Ireland represented his shadow side. Some modern critics consider A Picture of Dorian Gray, with its Gothic and Romantic overtones, to be a national tale of Ireland. Others consider it to be an English novel written by a man … Continue reading Dorian Gray & the Leprechauns

Very Victorian Halloween Problems

The witching season is upon us. Mr. Darcy, Sherlock Holmes, Dorian Gray and the other characters in Jane Eyre Gets Real by Annabelle Troy present this to you with their compliments: Ghosts were really aggressive back then You Only Have Enough Crumpets For Three But Uninvited Guests Keep Dropping By All You Want Is A Nice Family Photo But Mum Keeps Being Difficult Stop Trying to Make “How Hallow’eeny” Happen, It’s Not Going to Happen Stiff Competition for Miss Witch USA   Your Wife Is Dead Yet She Still Insists On Playing The Piano Email Hasn’t Been Invented So You Receive … Continue reading Very Victorian Halloween Problems