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Imagine Classic Literary Characters living in the Modern World. Read Jane Eyre Gets Real, a Novel by Annabelle Troy, available on Amazon!

https://www.amazon.com/Jane-Eyre-Gets-Real-Annabelle-ebook/dp/B00FAS3I7O

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Jane Eyre Gets Real

Mr. Darcy’s Very Regency Problems

Gentlefolk living during the Regency era (1811-1820) had problems, too. Mr. Darcy, a character in both Pride and Prejudice and Jane Eyre Gets Real, shares some of his:

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You Dislike How Your Valet Ties Your Cravat

 

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Bath Has Gotten Much Too Tourist-y

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Too Many Peasants Are Poaching Your Pheasants

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Lord Byron Gets All The Chicks

 

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Even Sensible Ladies Persist In Wearing Stupid Shoes–Plus They All Seem To Know Your Yearly Income

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Food Is Inevitably Served In Aspic

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You Keep Forgetting To Return This Book To The Library–And It’s 500 Years Overdue

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Saints & Souls

We all know what Halloween is–or think we do;  traditionally Oct. 31st, called All Hallows’ Eve, was an especially powerful day to ask for God’s blessing against the forces of Satan. People dressed in costume, not to get candy, but to emulate good and evil spirits and to act out the eternal battle between them.

Everyone’s favorite Puritan Hester Prynne, a character in Jane Eyre Gets Real by Annabelle Troy, will now explain the difference between All Souls and All Saints Days.

All Saints Day falls on November 1st.  It’s the day when Catholics offer prayers for souls in Purgatory. Also, people should strive extra-hard to act and think perfectly on this day, to emulate the saints. If you’ve forgotten to that, there’s always next year!

All Souls Day, November 2nd, is a day to remember the departed, perhaps to visit their graves and leave them candles, flowers, and food. You may also want to pour holy water or milk over their tombstones.

Of course, being Puritan, Hester doesn’t celebrate any of these days. She will spend the autumn carding wool, baking beans and reading Hansel and Gretel Inside the House of Candy, free on Amazon until November 5th. (Puritan women were exceptionally well-educated so that they could enjoy the Bible even when not in church; though fiction was forbidden, Hester will make an exception for Annabelle Troy.)

Bats in Your Belfry?

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Being told you had bats in your belfry originally signified that you were a crazy or eccentric person. The belfry was a church tower i.e. the head; bats were erratic or wildly swooping ideas.  Leaving metaphor aside, it is entirely possible to have bats, even hundreds of them, living in your attic or elsewhere in your house and have no notion that they’re there.  Here are the top 10 signs you might be sharing your home with winged mice, courtesy of Humane Wildlife Removal:

“(1) Seeing bats flying around your home at sunrise or sunset (2) Smell the scent of ammonia in or around your home (3) Smell a general pungent odour in or around your home (4) Seeing dead bats around your home (5) Seeing black oil stains/resin around cracks or openings into your home (6) Having a bat fly into your home (7) Strange scratching and fluttering sounds in your attic (8) Hearing high pitched squeaks or fluttering sounds at night (9) Seeing bat droppings (guano) around your property (10) Seeing these signs in out-houses, sheds, and garages.”

To remove bats from your property, you may choose to call Humane Wildlife Removal services or other pest control outfits. That is assuming you WANT to get rid of them. As Halloween approaches, you may just prefer to see if they morph into vampires.  “Some men, like bats or owls, have better eyes for the darkness than for the light,” wrote Charles Dickens in The Pickwick Papers. Dickens went on to create David Copperfield, who also appears in Annabelle Troy’s novel Jane Eyre Gets Real. Dickens himself was CHIROPTOPHOBIC–inflicted with the fear of bats.

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When Hope Despairs, Turn to Fiction

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If you are feeling in despair, as the Bronte sisters–and brother Branwell–almost always were, reading is a good way out. Emily Bronte can attest to the power of the imagination, and so she did, in the poem at the end of this post (reprinted by kind permission of her spirit). If writing poetry on the moors isn’t your thing, read Jane Eyre Gets Real by Annabelle Troy, free on Amazon from Sept 16-Sept 20th. Happy Imagination!

To Imagination by Emily Bronte

When weary with the long day’s care,
And earthly change from pain to pain,
And lost, and ready to despair,
Thy kind voice calls me back again:
Oh, my true friend! I am not lone,
While then canst speak with such a tone!

So hopeless is the world without;
The world within I doubly prize;
Thy world, where guile, and hate, and doubt,
And cold suspicion never rise;
Where thou, and I, and Liberty,
Have undisputed sovereignty.

What matters it, that all around
Danger, and guilt, and darkness lie,
If but within our bosom’s bound
We hold a bright, untroubled sky,
Warm with ten thousand mingled rays
Of suns that know no winter days?

Reason, indeed, may oft complain
For Nature’s sad reality,
And tell the suffering heart how vain
Its cherished dreams must always be;
And Truth may rudely trample down
The flowers of Fancy, newly-blown:

But thou art ever there, to bring
The hovering vision back, and breathe
New glories o’er the blighted spring,
And call a lovelier Life from Death.
And whisper, with a voice divine,
Of real worlds, as bright as thine.

I trust not to thy phantom bliss,
Yet, still, in evening’s quiet hour,
With never-failing thankfulness,
I welcome thee, Benignant Power;
Sure solacer of human cares,
And sweeter hope, when hope despairs!

Mr. Darcy Weathers the Storm

 

With Hurricane Harvey having recently battered Texas and Irma about to hit Florida, Mr. Darcy, who appears in Jane Eyre Gets Real, reflects on storms that he has known. We think of Jane Austen’s arguably most popular creation living a serene life on his estate, Pemberley. For the most part that is true but, like some of Austen’s other characters and like the author herself, Mr. Darcy sometimes visited Lyme Regis. It is a seaside place near Bath, known for wild storms. Darcy was there in 1824 when the Great Gale hit Weymouth then went on to top The Cobb, a sea wall in Lyme, destroying its length by 90 meters–this, after wrecking havoc on the villages of Fleet and Chiswell. Since Jane Austen died in 1817, she was fortunately spared all knowledge of this storm.

That doesn’t mean Jane wasn’t influenced by Lyme. In Persuasion, Austen’s poignant novel of middle-aged love, Louisa Musgrove has an accident on the Cobb. This brings to the fore Captain Wentworth’s still-vivid regard for his erstwhile lover, Anne Elliot as he looks to her to take charge. Lyme Regis is also famous for its place in John Fowles’s spectacular novel, The French Lieutenant’s Woman. Rejected by a dashing officer, penniless and forced to take menial employment, Sarah Woodruff dramatically stalks Lyme Regis, her hood billowing in the wind, her skin stung by salt as her eyes blaze with misery. Mr. Darcy is frightened by women like Sarah, whose spirit is so like a hurricane. He prefers to tame storms, or ignore them, not indulge them. “No drama.” Of course, as one of the most eligible men in literature, he has a choice. Most people, when it comes to love or storms, have none.

The prayers of all the characters in Jane Eyre Gets Real are with the victims of Harvey and Irma.

 

Is There a Cure for Tulip Fever?

This weekend the film Tulip Fever, based on the novel by Deborah Moggach, opens in New York City. The film was supposed to be made over a decade ago, and was to star Keira Knightley and Jude Law; it now features Alicia Vikander and Christoph Waltz. Set in the 17th century, the plot revolves around the zeal aroused by tulip speculation–hundreds of years ago fortunes could be made (and lost) by investing in the Oriental flower.  So far, the movie has received lukewarm reviews; it seems to be a bit dull and over-plotted. (Given the dour Dutch setting this isn’t surprising; Vermeer just made it look easy!)

Hester Prynne, a character in the novel Jane Eyre Gets Real, doesn’t understand the fuss. A survivor of the 1600s, she thought Tulip Fever was a real disease. When she heard it was coming to NYC, she rustled around some old recipe books and wooden boxes, eager to find a cure. In Hester’s time, pre-antibiotics, any fever was potentially fatal. Below is a list of some particularly nasty ailments and their common cures (from the article Disease and Illness in Regency England by I. A. Hilden:

Smallpox- virus causes blister bumps on the skin and in the mouth and throat, accompanied by a fever. If you get this disease and survive, you would not get it again. Believed to have emerged in 10,000 BC. A smallpox rash was found on Pharaoh Ramses V of Egypt. It can cause blindness due to ocular scarring. Eighty percent of children who contracted this disease died. It is airborne and easily inhaled or transmitted through bodily fluids. One of the first vaccinations ever created was for smallpox in 1798.

Pleurisy-is an inflammation of the lungs that produces a hacking cough and sharp chest pain. Respiratory infections and pneumonia are the main causes of pleurisy. Milk Weed- helps to relieve breathing difficulties, ease pain, and lessen inflammation. Leeches- applied to rib cage where the pain was located.

Yellow Fever-a tropical disease spread by mosquitos. It usually occurred in seaports and carried flu like symptoms. This disease killed many British soldiers in the West Indies. Severe cases led to kidney and liver failure. Bloodletting, cold baths, and a calomel and James’s powder purge. Often bled 4-5 times in a 30-hour period.

Croup- this name applied to many illnesses at the time, including diphtheria. This disease
occurred with children, leading to hoarseness and coughing. Severe cases led to convulsions and death. Nowadays we say the patient is barking like a seal when they contract this virus. Croup causes inflammation in the upper airways. The disease often begins with signs of the common cold. White Horehound Syrup was used to alleviate the cough and lung trouble. 

Typhoid Fever-brought on by consuming food or water that has been contaminated by human waste either directly or through flies. Could lead to delirium and death if untreated. Often accompanied by a rash that is similar to Typhus. It has four stages with a variety of terrible symptoms. Sanitation and education is the way to prevent it. Bloodletting and Calomel- Calomel is Mercury and it acts as a purgative and kills bacteria. It also does irreversible damage to the patient.

As summer chills into fall, be sure to wrap up warm, and pick up a bouquet of tulips from your local florist. If chicken soup is good for the body, flowers feed the soul.

 

 

Queen Victoria’s Tramp Stamp

 

OK, Queen Victoria getting a tattoo may be a rumor started by Annabelle Troy…BUT, Alice in Wonderland, a character in Jane Eyre Gets Real, knows that tattooing was all the rage amongst grand ladies in the 1880s. The practice was first popularized in high society when that playboy trend setter the Prince of Wales got a cross tattoo in Jerusalem (Alice is not sure where on the body); his sons copied the cross design on their own flesh. Thus the rage for tattoos was born. After Czar Nicholas II. and Kaiser Wilhelm succumbed, aristocratic women started to get designs from the tattoo machine as well. Winston Churchill’s mother, Lady Jennie, had a serpent tattoo encircling her wrist–which she covered in public with bracelets. To have ornate designs inscribed on the skin, which only husbands or lovers would see, was definitely a Victorian lady’s well-guarded secret.

Late in the 19th century “tattooed ladies”,  sometimes inked from head to slipper, became a circus staple. These ladies were definitely NOT aristocrats. Eventually, when the rage for tattooing spread to the lower classes,  along with methods for procuring them on the cheap, “real” ladies began to forego them. If Kate Middleton has one, she’s not telling…though she does have “permanent makeup”–liner etched onto her eyes so that she will always look presentable. Still, it’s no serpent.

 

 

 

 

Did You Know Bambi Had Kids?

Recently Heidi, a character in Jane Eyre Gets Real who originally starred in the children’s classic by Johanna Spyri, found a great book in the New York Public Library. It’s called Bambi’s Children, by the author of the original Bambi novel (which existed before the Disney cartoon), Felix Salten. It tells the story of a grown-up Bambi who hooks up with his cousin Faline–ok, deer have different rules about such things–and they have twins, Geno and Gurri. Geno and Gurri do sound more like Jersey Shore characters than fawns, but, as a family saga about deer–maybe the only one in existence–Bambi’s Children works like a charm.

Facts About Felix Salten:

He was a Jew who escaped Nazi-occupied Austria and sought refuge in Switzerland. His real name was Siegmund Salzmann and he was born on September 6, 1869 (died October 8, 1945). Incidentally, September 6 is also the birthday of author Annabelle Troy.

Bambi’s Children, though originally written in German, was first published in the USA in 1939. The mating scenes, and realistic scenes of animals being hurt or killed, were cut. Salten, who did not wish to be regarded as a children’s author, objected to this. (Bambi, the original, unabridged novel, was intended to be an allegory of a child growing up to become a man.)

Geni and Gurri were modeled after Felix’s own children, Paul and Anna Katharina, minus the antlers and the spotted coats, of course!

Though Bambi’s Children never made it into a cartoon, Walt Disney Productions did publish a comic book version of it in 1943.

For fun: Feeling wiped-out and uncreative after a hot, sticky day? Imagine your favorite classic character as an animal–dog, bird, alligator, lobster, whatever–and reimagine their story that way. Pride and Prejudice with foxes, anyone?

 

 

 

 

Global Warming Uncovers A Secret

 

Heidi, a character in Jane Eyre Gets Real, is thinking about a news story she just read. It’s like a sad fairy tale complete with “Frozen” elements: 75 years ago a humble Swiss couple–the husband a shoemaker, the wife a teacher–went out to milk their cows and never came back. Their seven children were separated, sent to live with different families; growing up apart from each other they remained united in one goal: to find their parents. Last week the bodies of  Marcelin and Francine Dumoulin, missing since 1942, were discovered perfectly preserved in an Alpine glacier; DNA testing has confirmed their identities. They were found near the Tsanfleuron ski lift; apparently, the couple had tumbled into a crevasse and were only uncovered as the glacier began to melt. Five years ago another melting glacier revealed the remains of the Ebener brothers, lost since 1926.

Marceline Udry-Dumoulin, the youngest child of Francine and Marceline, says she will wear white to her parents’ funeral. “It represents hope, which I never lost.”  A toddler at the time of their disappearance, she is now 79 years old.

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